Dear Sam
by Icanterbareback
Summary: Sam's eyes matched the Phantom; flickering a ghostly white as lightning split the sky, and thunder shook the Nevada desert'...Captures, chases, escapes, love, revenge...intence moments. Come along for the ride.
1. Still Smiling

**Author's note: Jake is kinda going to be out of character throughout this whole story, but that's the way he has to be. I'll try to make him as in character as possible, but I can't make any promises. This story occurs when Sam is 18 years old, and Jake is 21 in college. This chapter is in Sam's point of view. Enjoy…**

Dear Sam,

Pinch me! Exams are already coming up. I can't believe the semester's almost over. How are you? Sorry to have kept you waiting for a reply for so long…the answer is yes!

Miss you more than you can imagine…

Love,

Jake

Letter # 64

I sat on my quilted bed, smitten by Jake's letter. In less than a month, his strong arms would wrap me close to him once again. He'd kiss my cheek, whisper into my auburn hair, and we'd be together all summer long.

I set Jake's letter aside, turned off my lamp, and crawled beneath the bedspread. My ice-cold toes were soon warmed, and blissful thoughts of Jake's arrival filled my head.

I was still smiling as I fell asleep.

**Author's Note: Okay, so this is like the shortest chapter in the history of short chapters. I'm not sure if I should continue this story. I need your opinion! Please review…**

**P.S. My story entitled Secrets is kind of like the story before this one. In other words, this is the sequel, incase anyone was looking for it. Though I haven't quite finished it yet…but I will soon. But you don't have to read it to understand this story. At least…I don't think. **

**Anyway…sorry for all the rambling. Just tell me what you think. **

**PPS: It will get much more dramatic and awesome and heart wrenching if I continue.**

**PPPS: Does anyone know when Sam's birthday is? Please help!**

**PPPPS: I'll shut up now. Review… **


	2. He loves you

**AN: Sorry for the really short 1****st**** chapter/preview. It wasn't really a good sample. This is more like it… **

**Also…To all of you guys who encouraged me to keep going with this story, I owe the credit of this chapter to you. Without you all…this chapter would still be just a fantasy. **

**Hope you enjoy it…**

Blood, warm and sticky, flowed from my head, flowing down to the nape of my neck. I was running; fear and dizziness overwhelming me.

Though I was trying to get away, it kept showing up before my eyes. Bone, teeth, and flesh, mangled on the desert floor, left a nauseating feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Then, I realized who's body it was: The Phantom's.

I screamed…squeezed my eyes shut against the sickening image…and attempted many other ways to get rid of it. But no matter what I tried, nothing worked.

"Don't do it, Sam," an eerie voice whispered through the dull light. The voice was right next to my ear, though nobody was in sight.

"Don't you _dare_ do it!" It hissed louder, surrounding me.

"Jake?" I recognized the voice. My tone was hesitant and shaky. "Jake!" I said again more desperately. "Whatever it is… I won't do it—I—I—won't…Jake."

Something shook me, then icy rain poured down my blood-covered cheeks.

But I couldn't recover from my layers of unconsciousness. Once again, Jake's voice flooded the darkness. "Stop, Brat! Is that horse more important to you than I am?"

A pain descended my chest at his words. "No. Of course not. You mean everything to me, Jake. I love you."

"Are you sure about that?"

Like a knife, his words cut through my skin, tearing me apart piece by piece.

"Of course I am."

His voice turned to a snicker. "Wow, Samantha. For a second there I actually believed you." I watched his figure appear in the distance, walk away, and fade.

The rain turned to hail. My heart turned cold. My talking turned to screaming.

"Jake!" I yelled as loud as I could, feeling helpless. "Jaaaaaaaaake…!"

I screamed until my throat was raw, and I still didn't stop.

The cold on my cheek increased and a familiar voice, other than Jake's called my name. "Samantha…Samantha, it's okay."

My screams were soon muffled to whimpers as I regained consciousness.

"Dad," I whispered, peering up at his figure above me. "Where—where am I? Where's Jake?"

"Shhh…" he soothed, his hand stroking my cheek very gently. "You're in your own bed at River Bend. And Jake is still at college right now."

Pushing past his logical words, I listened to the aching desire inside. "I want to see Jake," I said loudly. "I have to talk to Jake."

"It's okay, honey. You just need to calm down."

I grabbed Dad's arm as hard as I could, and squeezed it. "I have to talk to him!" I repeated.

He brought me off of my pillows to hold my struggling body against his. "You will soon. I promise. But you can call him as soon as it's morning."

Dad allowed me to cry for as long as I needed, packaging me in his strong arms. When it felt as though I'd run out of tears, he spoke.

"You've never yelled in your sleep before, Sam. Yet alone talked in your sleep. What's wrong?"

Before I could answer, the door to my room creaked open, and Bryanna peaked in. "Is everything all right?" she asked. The darkness concealed her face, so I couldn't see her expression. Although, I could make-out her large silhouette—one hand supported her pregnant stomach, the other holding the door open. She and Dad were happily expecting their second child together. Cody was now three years old; extremely squirrelly and mischievous. I loved Cody, but this time, I was hoping for a girl. Bryanna and Dad were planning on keeping the gender a surprise until Bryanna had it.

"Sam just had a bad dream," Dad answered. "I've got it."

"Okay. G'night," she said, stepping out of my room and shutting the door quietly.

"Jake morphed into a werewolf…" I prattled on, trying to get the facts of the dream I had straight. "And I was still in love with someone else…"

"No, honey," Dad interrupted. "That's in New Moon, remember? Gram took you to see it yesterday after you went shopping for clothes."

"Oh, yeah…" I remembered.

Then the dream came back to me.

"The Phantom was…" I struggled against the words. I swallowed. "Dead."

He held me tighter. "What else?"

"Jake!" I was sobbing now.

Dad ran his fingers through my hair. "It's okay. He's safe," he assured me.

"No!" I said. "He didn't love me anymore. I'd hurt him somehow…"

"Jake and you have been friends since you were little kids. And you've been dating for almost three years now. He loves you, Samantha. More than you know."

I believed him.

After Dad left my room, I pretended to sleep. Infact, I pulled it off so well, I'd even began to fool myself.

But something stopped me; drove me from the drowsiness.

My eyes opened, narrowing in confusion at the peculiar, yet familiar sound that was coming from outside.

I crept to the window and pressed my tired face against the cool glass.

As I saw the pale figure in the distance, I smiled. "Oh, Zanzibar, boy," I whispered, condensation fogging the glass. "Are you real?"

**AN: Ha ha. I referenced Twilight. BTW, the movie New Moon was sweet! **

**Is Sam's birthday in April? Please tell me if you know. Don't forget to keep reading Icanterbareback stories. 'Secrets' is also written by me. **

**Review plzz…**

**Happy new year everybody!!!**


	3. White Fire

**AN: The third chapter of Dear Sam!!!!!!!!!!!! I know, it's been **_**so **_**so long. But I finally managed to rein in my thoughts and put it down. I've been so super busy lately, so please forgive me. ****I figured I owed you all a really long chapter, so enjoy and please leave comments…**

**Apologies for any inaccuracy or bad lyric reviving:)**

Like a ghost; like a white curtain dancing in the wind, he came.

Slowly, carefully, the Phantom pranced among the pinion trees, as if he were a smudge on dark paper, breaking free from the drawing.

Sam held her breath until her lungs were about to burst. Then she let it out in a long rush. Her blue eyes were dazzled by the moon on the sage brush, dancing in waves to the skyline. But only for a moment.

Her horse was what really dazzled her.

His silken mane, delicate trot, and lonely whinny begging her to come out and play.

Now, with him being ten years old, Sam couldn't help worrying about him. Everyday, her eyes would wander to the skyline, jagged from the mountains, and she'd pray for his safety.

But tonight, she knew he was okay. Sam prayed, instead, in gratitude.

_Thank you, God. Thank you, thank you, thank you. _

With one last look out the window, Sam hurried quietly down the stairs, pushed open the screen door, and stepped out onto the porch.

Out to the west, thick pillows of clouds filtered out the starlight. Sam hoped they would hold off, at least until she went beck to bed.

She lifted the hem of her night gown, and started out to the ranch yard.

The horses in the 10—acre pasture jostled against the fence for a better view of the mysterious horse, and the girl coming toward him.

The dirt was soft as Sam's toes pressed into it with each step, because of the lack of rain they'd had.

Her eyes stayed fixed on the Phantom.

Head bobbing gently to catch her scent, mane dancing like white fire in the wind, he watched her too.

"Zanzibar, boy," Sam breathed, coming closer.

The Phantom's ears pricked in recognition to catch her voice.

"It seems like forever since I last saw you," she continued. "But I'm glad you're okay."

Sam paused at the edge of the river. With her horse only feet away, she could barely find the strength to breath.

The Phantom extended his muzzle toward her, then his whole neck stretched, mane flapping at its sides. It was as if he was desperate, yet hesitant, for the touch he once knew.

But Sam didn't move a muscle. She waited. Waited for him to come to her.

He didn't.

A couple jolting steps backwards broke the magic spell, and everything was the way it had been before.

"Come on, boy," Sam whispered urgently. "Please, come. I don't have to ride you. I just want to remember how your mane feels in my fingers."

The Phantom let out a scream that rattled her bones. He dropped his head to his left leg, and nuzzled at it.

Then, Sam saw it. And realized why he'd come to her.

His leg was badly cut; swollen, green, and puss oozing from the sides.

Sam swallowed a rising lump in her throat, and cried out, "What did they do to you?" Her mind swirled through possibilities; accusations; certain people she'd love to blame. But she knew it likely wasn't a person. Probably just a sharp stick or serrated canyon rock that he'd slipped on. She tried not to let the lashing images of her horse falling, and letting out a whinnying plea for her help when she wasn't there to give it, cloud her thoughts.

Blackie needed help. Now.

Sam toyed with the hem of her night gown, collected a fistful of cloth, and slowly pulled off strip after strip. Until she had enough.

She remembered a long time ago, when the Phantom had been comforted by her singing. She knew she wasn't the best singer in the world, but if it would serenade her horse to come to her, she'd try.

"We were both young when I first saw you," she began to the words of her favorite song. Only then did she realize the lyrics were parallel to the story of her and the Phantom.

"I close my eyes"—Sam closed her eyes—"and the flashback starts, I'm standing there."

She changed the words slightly to match their experience.

"I'm standing there, in a ranch yard in…"

Her voice trailed into the silence, as she heard hoof beats coming toward her. Or maybe it was her own heartbeats in her throat that broke through the night.

His silky muzzle bumped her hand while she still had her eyes closed. "Summer air." The words barely passed her lips. She moved her fingers through his mane, as if she were plucking at guitar strings.

"Zanzibar," she said.

But the name was sticky in throat. What if this was it? What if this was the last time she'd ever say his name with his ears pricked to hear it?

Sam opened her eyes.

She worked as swiftly as her fingers allowed. Wrapped strip after strip around the cut on his leg, and singing the modified version of the song to her horse.

"I see you there; see the river, and Jake…see your wild spirit nearly break when you weren't free. But then you had me…

"Something scared you crazy; your hoofs more than grazed me. And then Dad said 'stay away and the safer you'll be.' But this life was everything to me, I was begging him, 'Please don't make me go…'

"All right, Zanzibar," Sam said before she finished the song. "You be careful. I'm going to call the vet."

With one last touch of his mane, one last utter of his name, and one last tear that escaped, Sam ran toward the moonlit ranch house.

"Dad…" Sam whispered, shaking her father's shoulder. "Dad! Wake up! The Phantom's hurt bad!"

Dad rolled over, and mumbled something Sam didn't understand. Something like: "Linc Slocum," "too many cows," and "I'll kill 'im."

"Dad, please wake up!" Sam begged, practically punching him awake.

"Wha…?" Dad rubbed his dropped eyes as he paused in the middle of a word.

"The Phantom's hurt really bad!" Sam explained. "We have to help him."

"Did you call the vet?"

"Not yet…" Sam answered, rushing to the other side of the bed to wake Bryanna.

"Don't you dare!" Dad warned. "With the little sleep she's been getting lately, I don't want her disturbed. And don't bother waking up Cody, either. He'll be a pain trying to get back to sleep."

"What about Gram?" Sam asked automatically.

"Sure. I'll go wake her up. You better go call Dr. Scott."

Sam nodded in agreement then hurried on tip-toe down the stairway. She didn't even bother to flip on a light switch, knowing it'd waste precious time.

She tapped her fingers irritatedly on the kitchen counter as she waited for someone to answer the phone.

"Hello?" a sleepy voice finally asked. It was Dr. Scott.

"Hi. Dr. Scott? Sam here," she began frantically. Her voice was shaking so much, she could barely talk without choking.

"Sam!" he said. "It's so nice to here from you at…one o' clock in the morning."

Sure it was nice.

"Sorry to bother you," Sam said quickly. But my horse—I mean, _The Phantom_, is badly cut and it's all green and pussy and gross. I wrapped it up to protect it, but I think you should check it out."

It all came out in a rush. Sam found herself catching her breath as Dr. Scott took over talking.

"Sounds like an infection," he said, surprisingly sounding professional even at the early hour. "For wild horses, they're not so rare to come across."

_Infection_. She tried not to let the word scare her, but it did. It sounded so serious.

"Of course it's treatable," he went on. "But I'll come by in the morning as soon as I can."

"Could he die from it?" Sam couldn't help asking the question. Fresh tears sprang in her eyes, and she fought them back.

"Technically, yes. But it's extremely rare. It all depends."

"On what?"

"The seriousness of the infection, how old the horse is, how long it's been infected…that sort of thing. But like I said, usually treatable. I'll come over in the morning."

"Why not now?" she pleaded.

"First thing," he repeated, as if she hadn't heard correctly. "In the mean time, Samantha, if you're really anxious, you can try to get him in a confined area"—

_Yeah, right_, Sam thought.

--"make him comfortable, calm him down, wrap up the wound…"

"Wait!" Sam interrupted. "I need to write all this down…"

She wrote down everything he told her.

"Good night, Samantha," Dr. Scott said finally.

Sam let out a shaky breath, knowing she had quite a night ahead of her. "Please hurry," she said, and hung up without a goodbye.

**Please Review...**


	4. Storms, Tears, and Running Away

**AN: Sorry this took so long to write. I don't know how long it's been since I posted the last chapter, but I'm sooooooooo sorry for the wait. I'll try to be faster with my next post. Even though its summer, I've still been crazy busy—I went to camp for two weeks to train for a new job I got hired in. I'm working at Sherman Lake Camp to train and teach kids how to ride horses! Talk about dream job! **

**I KNOW SOME OF YOU HAVE ALREADY READ THIS CHAPTER, BUT I CHANGED A MAJOR PART IN THE ARGUMENT SO IT MATCHES THE ACTUAL RELATIONSHIP IN THE REAL PHANTOM STALLION SERIES! **

**So anyway…sorry for my rambling. On with the stuff you've been waiting for…**

Dear Jake,

It's all gone. Or, at least fading.

You're gone now. The Phantom's badly hurt. College next year is creeping up behind me like a haunting.

The life I love, and once had is slipping through my fingers.

Jake…is anything ever going to be the same again?

Love,

Sam

Letter # 65

Sam listened. No tires crunched on gravel, or words of comfort shattered through the night. She didn't know what time it was, and it was probably still hours until Dr. Scott would arrive. But to Sam, the time seemed to drag endlessly.

She'd been trying to catch her horse for too long to keep track of. How come when she was in the secret valley, so many years back, he allowed her to crawl up onto his great, slivery back, and just ride? But now, when his safety was at steak, he pranced around as if too mighty to be touched by human hands.

Sam reached for him one last time. He threw his head, and skittered out of reach.

For the first time, Sam punched her fist toward him, tears flooding every movement she made. "You—stupid—horse!" She screamed.

A sonic boom of thunder crashed from somewhere in the mountains, smothering the words to follow.

The Phantom thrashed his forelegs in the air, his milky silhouette dancing against the black clouds. Torrents of wind and rain came down, and stuck to his hide, shimmering like needles.

Sam's eyes matched the Phantom's; flickering a ghostly white as lightning split the sky, and more thunder shook the Nevada desert.

With one more whinny that vibrated his sides, her horse was gone in an instant, running on the wild side of the river toward home.

Overwhelmed with fear, Sam collapsed on the bank, and allowed her tears to choke her.

"Sam?" A voice called in the darkness.

Besides crickets, and the River bend horses restless moving in the pasture, it was the only sound.

Sam knew that voice. It was one she hadn't heard in a long time; one that was only sometimes pleasant. But she couldn't quite match it with the mysterious person.

Sam didn't move; or even look up, until she felt a hand cup over her shoulder.

"Are you okay?" the voice asked.

She squinted through the darkness, trying to catch a stray moonbeam on their face to see who it belonged to. But she didn't need to. Before she saw him, she recognized his voice.

It was Gabe—Mrs. Allen's grandson.

"Sam," he said, louder this time. "Why are you crying?"

"As if it's any of _your_ business," she shouted, her voice broken by raking sobs. On impulse, she stormed toward the house.

"Whoa, hey!" he yelled after her. "Where are you going?" He jogged after her, until his stride was even with hers, and they were walking toward the house abreast.

Sam spun to face him. She pushed her bangs off her forehead and swallowed the new set of tears that were threatening to come. "Why don't you just leave me alone?" she yelled.

Though she couldn't see his expression, she knew she'd hurt him by the silence that followed.

Sam held her breath, knowing that if she spoke she might make it worse. She knew from experience.

"Jake, huh?" he asked. Sam could've sworn she heard his voice crack, maybe as if he was fighting tears. "Stupid Ely's got your heart tied up, has he?"

Sam's blood pumped through her veins like a wildfire, and every muscle inside her body tightened in fury.

She drew herself up to his face, standing on tip-toe so they were nearly nose-to-nose.

"_Jake_ was a better friend to me than you ever were!" Sam didn't care that she was millimeters from him when she screamed at the top of her lungs. "I haven't seen _you_ for three years!"

"And you don't think I didn't still care about you?"

Sam snorted. "_Care _about me. We barely tolerated each other!"

"I'll admit, I was a bit…up-tight—"

"Up-tight?" she screeched. "You were absolutely impossible!"

"But I thought we forgave eachother for that! We were friends before I left."

"Key word: _before_!"

"I would've called. But I've been busy."

"Really?" Sam said sarcasstically. She waved a hand in his face, as if shewing him off. "Whatever."

Blood pounded through her ears, making it hard to hear anything around her except Gabe. And as far as Sam was concerned, that was the last thing she wanted to hear.

"Well, what do you expect me to do, now? Apologize?"

"You should!"

"Well, fine!"

"Go ahead!"

"I will!"

How did she hear crickets now? Perhaps all the yelling cleared her ears.

"I'm waiting!" she said, placing her hands on her hips and taking a step back.

But Gabe took a step toward her to make up for it.

"You don't need to be this close to me to apologize," Sam said.

"But I do to do _this."_

Gabe grabbed her around the waist, and pulled her against him, kissing her on the lips.


	5. I Love You, I Love You Not

**EVERYBODY! Yeah, now that i have ur attention...i'm gonna start dedicating my chapters to ppl who give really good suggestions for the story, or just make me feel good in the reviews :) Sooo...**

**This Chapter is dedicated to four reveiwers, since i have had four chapters so far before this one...**

**God'srider: for being my first reviewer on chapter uno!**

**LiL-MiSs-Clo: For writing such an awesome review on chapter 2!**

**Hanner Nanner: For just loving chapter 3!**

**magiclover13: For asking a question in the review. ANSWER: Sam rides the Phantom for the first time in book 6, i'm pretty sure. **

**Please understand that I had a major writer's block with this story and that's the reason I haven't up dated in so long. **

**Please read and review!**

_"Well, what do you expect me to do, now? Apologize?"_

_"You should!"_

_"Well, fine!"_

_"Go ahead!"_

_"I will!"_

_How did she hear crickets now? Perhaps all the yelling cleared her ears._

_"I'm waiting!" she said, placing her hands on her hips and taking a step back._

_But Gabe took a step toward her to make up for it._

_"You don't need to be this close to me to apologize," Sam said._

_"But I do to do __this."_

_Gabe grabbed her around the waist, and pulled her against him, kissing her on the lips._

"What are you thinking?" Sam screamed, pushing Gabe away from her.

"That you loved me back," he answered calmly.

_How could he be so calm?_ Sam thought. She yanked her fingers through her hair, and blinked back tears that clouded her vision. She opened her mouth, raised a hand in the air, and prepared to tell him otherwise, but she paused.

A horrible possibility spun through her mind. Could she love Gabe? As more than just a friend?

Gabe took a step closer. "Don't deny it, Sam." His hand came to rest on Sam's shoulder, but she moved away.

No! No! No! This wasn't supposed to happen! At Gabe's touch, she felt a current of warmth through her body. Just like when Jake would touch her. But _he _was the one she loved. The one she rolled out of bed for, wrote all those letters for, and smiled about whenever he happened to bubble across her mind.

Right?

Ace swiped up a mouthful of grass in the 10-acre pasture, inky-black from the darkness, and studied her with gentle eyes.

_As if understood_, Sam mused.

But how could he? He was a horse.

Then again, there was probably a lot of "drama" between all of the mares and geldings. But it still wasn't the same, she decided.

"Sam…"Gabe drawled, reached out for her.

"No!" Sam yelled, and backed away. "I don't need this right now!"

A cool rush of wind tumbled across the range, stirred up the leaves on the piñon trees near the la Charla River, and tugged a tear from her eye. She was so confused.

"Gabe, please," she whispered. "Just…go home."

Without another word from either of them, Sam jogged toward the house. Her feet felt heavy, like they had dumbbells tied to the bottom of her sneakers. Her heart raced in furry and guilt. Why Gabe come back? How could he do that to her?

Sam wiped her nose across the sleeve of her sweatshirt, and sniffed.

She had been doing just fine for all that time that Gabe wasn't around.

No, she wasn't she reminded herself. She'd missed him so much. More than she should have…

Sam's head snapped to her left, and her eyes widened in terror.

Tires skittered on gravel.

A horn blared, and headlights swerved from side to side.

Like a deer in the middle of the road, Sam froze, as the pick-up hurdled at her.

**Soooooooo sorry for the big cliffy! I promise you guys a thousand times I will have chapter 6 up by this weekend! Please review…I LOVE REVIEWS! AND I'LL LOVE YOU IF YOU REVIEW! :)**


	6. Much Farther Than That

**NEXT CHAPTER!**

**This chapter is dedicated to: AceTrace. For making me laugh when reading the review!**

"Watch out, Sam!" A loud voice yelled over the blasting car horn. The pick-up was still coming at her as a hand waved out of the driver's side of the pick-up window.

Sam watched as dust stirred up and rolled from beneath the tires, but she didn't move. She _couldn't_ move. Not a muscle in her body would cooperate.

Every pleasant sound that usually flowed across the ranch yard was silenced, and only the spewing of gravel and screeching of brakes filled its place.

Sam squeezed her eyes shut, waiting. Waiting for the fender of the truck to grade against her body, and crush her into a million pieces.

But it didn't happen. The truck came to a stop, inches from her night gown. She hadn't realized that she had covered her eyes, until she took her hands from her face, and opened her eyes.

The headlights from the pick-up glared in her face, so she side-stepped from the beam.

"Samantha! What the heck is wrong with you?"

Dad's voice boomed louder and angrier than Sam had ever remembered it. He stood at her right, Gabe at her left, and Dr. Scott—the one driving the pick-up—right in front of her. But she didn't look at any of them; afraid her eyes were too guilty.

"Samantha, you look at me, right now!'

Sam did. And as soon as Dad saw her eyes, she knew it was a mistake. He swallowed so hard, she saw his Adam's apple climb up and back down his throat.

"You get in the house," he ordered, thrusting his finger at the white two-story. "And you go to bed!"

"But Dad—" Sam tried to argue.

Dad's hand silenced her, as he held it up like a stop sign.

She looked at Gabe, lifted a corner of her mouth in the world's smallest smile, and obeyed Dad.

What had she even done? Sam wondered as she obediently walked towards the front door. Sure, she'd stood as the truck came at her, but could she really be in that much trouble for being stupid?

"Sam?"

She turned at Doctor Scott's voice, before she could come up with an answer for herself.

"Were you ever able to catch your horse?"

_The Phantom_, she corrected him in her mind.

If only he was her horse still…

Sam's hand turned the knob slowly, so it only clinked. She could escape with only one turn of the knob, and Dr. Scott, Dad, and Gabe wouldn't have something to make fun of her for. Because if she answered, she might cry.

"No," she managed to say in a level tone.

She turned the knob, closed the door against the night, and walked upstairs.

Except she wasn't going to bed. She'd call Jake.

Her back was propped against a pillow on the headboard of her bed. Her legs lay out atop the unmade covers, and the phone was held in a white-knuckle grip in her fist.

What would she say when he answered?

'Hi, Jake. This is Sam. Sorry to bother you at three in the morning, but the Phantom's going to die, and I think I might love Gabe Allen. Hope everything is well with you. Bye!'

Sam sighed, lay the phone down, and immediately picked it back up again. She punched in his number, waited, then hung up.

She wouldn't call him. Not for awhile. Because he'd be against what she was about to do.

Sam crept from her bed, pulled her backpack out from underneath, and set it on top of the sheets.

She was packing.

No. She wasn't going to visit Jake at college. Or travel by foot to the secret valley.

It was somewhere much farther than that.

And not a soul on River Bend could know.

**Review…**


	7. Please Understand

A mass of animals' glittering bodies moved together across the flat, Nevadan floor below.

_No_, Sam thought, pressing her nose against the small window for a better look. It wasn't just a mass of animals. They were wild horses.

Beautiful, and magnificent.

From the sky, though, she could see how someone could belittle them to that status: _Just a mass of animals. _The thought made her sick, knowing just for a moment, she had the same mindset as a government worker, rounding up horses with helicopters.

Sam leaned her head back against her seat, and let the music from her ear buds soak her up into yet another thought.

In less than ten hours, she'd be in Hawaii. Warm sun, salty ocean, and wild horses.

Well, Hawaiian wild horses. She already had wild horses back home at River Bend. But she couldn't go and see them. At least, not right now.

Even if she could order the plane to turn around and start heading in the direction of the sunrise, she shuttered at the thought of facing Gram.

And Brynna.

And Dad…

In fact, he was probably reading the note she'd wrote for them this very moment. She'd laid it on his place at the kitchen table, scribbled out in red pen against yellow post-it note. Sam knew the table is where he'd eat breakfast before going into the fields.

Jake would be back home in just few days. And he knew nothing about what she was about to do. He wouldn't understand.

Sam pulled out her cell phone, impulsively deciding to text Jake.

Dear Jake,

On my way to Hawaii. Please don't try to talk me out of it. I'm

Not asking permission. I have to do something…please understand.

Love,

Sam

She slid her phone back into place and stowed it once again in her pocket before the plane had begun to shake.

Sam gripped the arms of her chair, as if that would make the turbulence stop.

The seatbelt sign above her flashed on, but she already had it fastened.

Just before a new set of violent quakes rocked the plane, Sam's phone vibrated from inside her pocket.


	8. Happy Halloween

**Soooooooooooooooooo Sorry, everyone!**

**I know I said I'd up date every sat, but I was so busy, I will up date tomorrow!**

**And it's longer than usual…**

**So get pumped!**

**Happy Halloween Eve!**

**Love, **

**Icanterbareback**


	9. Take Your Picks

Sam felt the buzz against her thigh. She knew Jake would be answering her text, probably enraged by her impulsive stupidity.

Jake never got angry. And when he did, it didn't show. But Sam knew him too well to not recognize his small gestures for each emotion. She could read him like a book.

Sam's brain seemed to rattle back and forth against her skull, as the plane's jerky movements grew worse. There was no way she'd fish through her pocket, and try to balance a phone while her very safety was in turmoil.

_If I die today…_

Sam shook the thought. There's no way that could happen. Because if it did…

It's not like there'd be any trouble to get into, while you're lying motionless in a coffin. So she wouldn't have to worry about eternal grounding. But Dad, Gram, Brynna, Jen, Jake…maybe even Gabe would be devastated.

Sam tried to imagine in what ways it'd be better if she was alive when she got home.

She couldn't think of any, and she knew if was the truth. Samantha Forester would rather be dead than face her father.

Her seat took two sudden jerking movements upward before a crackling sound, followed by a female voice came over the speakers.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats with your seatbelts fastened until further notice. We apologize for the turbulence, and it is expected to get worse. The captain is planning to make an emergency landing in Sacramento. We apologize for any inconvenience this might cause you."

Sam's heart raced so fast, she could feel the blood pounding in her temples. Jonah was expecting her to arrive at four, then Sam was taking the next flight back form Wild Horse Island an hour later. Shed didn't have time for a delay. According to Jonah, her horse was in critical condition.

This time, it'd be too late to save him.

* * *

In the airport, a little girl about 5 years old was crying and tugging on her mom's shirt. To Sam, it appeared the little girl wanted a toy, displayed in the window of a small store.

As Sam read Jake's text message, for the fifth time, she felt close to tears herself.

Dear Sam,

When are you going to learn to grow up? When are you finally going to realize that we're not kids anymore? You're 18 years old, and you still treat that horse the same way—putting him before me. Or your dad. Or anyone else that's important to you. Or at least, I _thought _were important to you. Bottom Line, Samantha. If you go to Hawaii to get that medicine from Jonah, we're done. And I'm not talking about our relationship. I'm talking about everything. We can never be friends again.

Love,

Jake

Her heart sat heavily against her rib cage, and she finally bulked up the courage to text him back.

Dear Jake,

I don't know what to do. I'm stuck at the Sacramento airport because our plane was going through really bad turbulence, so we had to make an emergency landing. Even if I get a later flight to Wild Horse Island, if still might be too late to save him. But I couldn't bear losing you, Jake.

Love,

Sam

P.S. How did you know what I was going to do in Hawaii?

Dear Sam,

Your dad told me. And yes, I guess the decision is up to you. It's me, or your stupid horse. Me, or Gabe. Take your picks.

Love,

Jake

Dear Jake,

How do you know about Gabe?

Love,

Sam

Dear Sam,

I was going to ask you to marry me.

Love,

Jake

**Please review…:)**


	10. My Decision

Suddenly, Sam didn't feel like a little kid anymore; she felt practically grown. And ironically, it was all Jake's fault, the same guy who usually caused her to act childish.

She dared herself to take one more glance at the text, wondering once again if it was still there.

It was, she realized, letting her eyes fall to the black letters against the white screen. She sighed, but paused before she could finish releasing her breath. It was, but should she text him back?

Sam read the message again, this time, thinking more clearly (but only a little because she was still loopy and light-headed). There it was, right in front of her. Clear as day. He had texted "I was going…"

Did that mean he'd changed his mind? Maybe he thought she was in love with Gabe.

_But, you are…_she reminded herself. _Or at least, you might be. _

Sam's thumbs toyed with the keys on the cell phone, but didn't type anything. There really wasn't anything to say, except "I have nothing to say."

The phone buzzed.

Oh God.

Was it Jake?

No. It was Dad, calling from River Bend. If she answered, he would be furious. If she didn't answer…he'd be even angrier when she'd have to face him at home.

She pursed her lips so hard, they tinted white and pressed down the talk button. "Dad—" she began, but he interrupted.

"Sam—"

He paused.

Sam's eyes scanned the airport, wondering if she yelled as loud as it had sounded in her mind. Nobody was staring at her, so it was probably just her imagination.

"Dad," she tried again after taking a deep breath. But the breath didn't help, because saying his name tore her up. She missed him, but only him. She didn't miss Jake or Gabe or Brynna or Gram, or even her little brother Cody. She felt homesick only for her father.

"Dad—" she sobbed this time, tears burning her eyes. "I'm sorry I left, I just—"

_Nothing was going right…_The words died on her lips. She didn't want to sound like a child who'd run away from home.

"I'm eighteen, Dad!" she said instead. "I'm _not_ a kid anymore, no matter what you or Jake say. I can make my own decisions! I'm sick and tired of being treated like a child, so I can go on a plane in the middle of the night if I want to, and if doesn't make me crazy, it just makes me independent! And why do I have to choose between you and a horse? Can't I have both?"

Sam hadn't realized until she was done screaming, that'd she'd said everything as though she was talking to Jake, not Dad. Tears dripped down her chin, and she shook so hard, she hugged her arms over her heaving chest.

Everyone around her was staring at the crazy girl. But she wasn't crazy. Her face burned red, and she wiped her nose with her sleeve. She was just confused. Really confused.

"Sam, honey?" Dad said finally on the other line. "I need you to calm down."

"Don't ground me, Dad," Sam begged. Her voice sounded so childish, Sam clapped a hand over her mouth. She had to act grown up, or Dad wouldn't listen to a word. She forced herself to calm down.

"I'm not going to ground you," Dad said.

"I just want to talk. So I need you to calm down."

"I'm calm," she lied.

"You sure?"

"Yeah!" she shouted impatiently. She cleared her throat, and spoke calmly. "Yes, Dad. I am."

"You know, you're eighteen."

"Yeah…"

"And, no matter if you see it or not, I think you've grown into a fine, young lady."

"Yeah, yeah, Dad. But you're kinda obligated to say that, since I'm your Daughter."

"I'm not asking you to believe me. I'm asking you to make this decision on your own: you can come home."

Sam sighed. Suddenly, she wanted Dad to make the decision for her, just as if she was a little kid.

"Before you decide, you should know that the 'Welcome Home' party for Jake is going to start in a few hours. I just spoke with him on the phone, and he's on his way right now. He said he doesn't want a party; he only wants to see you. But he thinks you don't fee the same."

Sam's chest ached at his words. Quite honestly, she loved Jake more than anybody in the entire world. If she hurt him, she'd be there to make it right.

Sam had her eyes closed when she told Dad her decision. "I'm coming home, Dad."

"Okay, honey. I'll see you in a couple hours."

"Bye."

Sam hung up, but she didn't feel guilty for changing her mind. She told Dad she'd be home soon, and she would be.

Sam hopped up from her seat, scanned the screen for flight times and destinations, and headed towards the terminal.

She was getting on the plane, just not one back to River Bend. She was coming home in time for the party, just not before she made a pit stop in Hawaii.

Screw Jake. She was going to save her horse.

**Thanks for reading!**

**And guys, if you're going through a rough time in your life…and results seem out of your hands, turn to Jesus. Even if you don't go to church, or you're not religious at all, he can change your life.**

**I'll be praying for you guys! **


	11. The Exception

**Jake's Point of View…**

**Setting: River Bend, at Jake's welcome home party**

**Situation: Sam hasn't arrived yet**

My mustang eyes did all the work for me. All I had to do was relax, as his inferior figure blurred before me. The figure of the guy I had such a strong hate for, I'd been sitting here plotting this whole party just how to get even with him for kissing the woman I love.

I stood, ready to go and duke it out right here at the party with him, but something stopped me. Something that fell at my feet with a delicate 'ping' as it hit the pebble-jutted soil. The sound broke my heart, just as much as it did to look down at the tiny object.

The engagement ring was for Sam.

It's gold band and silvery diamond stud glittered as I picked it up, and held it gently in my fingers.

_Jake Ely doesn't cry_, I reminded myself. Especially not at parites with a ton of people to witness it.

But, just this once, maybe I would make an exception to my own rule.


	12. The Party

Sam pressed her forehead against the car window, watching as sage brush, canyon, and open land rolled past. A film of silver light quilted the Nevada desert in a hazy glow, but even the night sky wasn't on her side tonight. Clouds soon paraded in, uninvited and mocked Sam's terrible mood.

If only Blackie could be saved, then at least one thing in her life would be okay.

_The Phantom_, she reminded herself. Blackie was what Jake called her.

The bottle of medicine Jonah gave Sam sat between her knees, as she stared longingly ahead, willing the old truck to go faster. But once she'd wish that, she'd just as quickly take it back. Jake was waiting for her at the party. _Jake's_ party. And she had to do what she knew was right, even though that would end them.

A numb ache yanked in every direction in her stomach, because she loved him. She had loved him for as long as she could remember, and now her world would be shattered.

Sam remembered the time when Jake and she walked up to Mrs. Allen's House when they were seven¸ hand in hand. Back then, it was merely a crush. But being eighteen, it was now the real thing.

And Gabe would be there too.

Sam sighed, blinking away her moist eyes. She realized at this moment, none of that stuff mattered. Dad and she hadn't exchanged a single word since he'd picked her up from the airport. Was he mad?

Of course he was.

"Dad?" she squeaked, still staring into the darkness beyond the windshield.

"Sam!" Dad warned firmly. "I don't want to hear it."

Sam swallowed so loudly, she was sure Dad heard, but she couldn't be sure. The whole would was against her, and the only one on her side was her own gut.

When Dad's truck bumped over the bridge into Riverbend, Sam saw dozens of silhouettes. But she only searched for one.

"Sam, honey!" Gram pulled me into a strangling hug as soon as I'd opened the car door. Against Gram's clothes, I couldn't breathe. But even when she'd been freed from the warm fabric, Sam still struggled for air.

"What in the world were you thinking?" Gram continued to press her for details. "We were all worried half to death! And poor little Cody's been crying, wondering where you were. Why didn't you just tell us you decided to go anyway?"

"Gram—"

"You hush. Brynna! Grace! She's back!" Gram pulled me in for one more quick hug, then held me out for her to see with her hands on my shoulders, at arm's length. "Just look at you!" she exclaimed, breathlessly. "You must be half dead from sitting in that plane all day and being up all night!"

"Gram—"

"Maybe going to bed early would do you some good."

"Gram!" My heart thumped at what I was about to tell her. "I need to see Jake."

Actually, I needed to see him more than I knew.

I _needed_ to see him. I had a sickeningly strong need to see his heart break; see him helpless and devastatingly realize there was nothing he could do to change my mind.

I was choosing the Phantom.

And I would've choose him too if he wasn't so damn stubborn and jealous of my love for my horse. But Jake had to be so…what's the word?

Jake! He had to be so Jake.

"Okay, Hun **(Not that anyone cares, but I just need to give you a little history behind this spelling of 'Hun.' How I originally wrote it, it was 'honey.' But I changed it for one reason and for one reason only. The guy I'm in love with used to call me that, and he'd spell it wrong-but amazingly adorable :)—with a 'u' instead of with an 'o.'** **He used to be in love with me too, but no more. We're just than friends now, and he's falling for someone else :(…)** ," Gram answered. "I'll talk to you later tonight." She patted my shoulder for support, but it didn't help me feel supported one bit. The world was against me.

_Every great journey began with a single footstep. _Teddy Roosevelt never said that first footstep was the hardest of all. I made my journey through the throng of party guests, across the sun-baked lawn, to my Jake.

At least he used to be mine. And I used to be his.

God, I loved him.

My heart swelled, and leapt into my throat. I swallowed it. I couldn't cry now. I couldn't. Jake was the one who I wanted to cry. I _wanted_ to see him loose.

I breathed in; so deep, I could swear the air didn't just smell of horse manure, and barbequed hot dogs, and night time.

No, this air reeked.

This air reeked of betrayal, and loneliness and rebellion. All faults of mine. All the faults I stood watching¸ and didn't try to stop. All the faults that marched on still, and I still refused to stand in their way.

As I came toward Jake, in the reeking air, words bubbled in my mind. I didn't say them; not yet, anyway. I was too busy quenching my masochistic need.

I watched as his eyes changed, from cold to dead. The light was gone. The emotion was gone. The Jake was gone.

But I was happily lapping up every bit of sweet, sticky pain he was portraying. I was enjoying this—tearing him up piece by piece. I don't know why; I don't know what had changed inside me at that moment, but I allowed it, without later allowing it to leave.

I paused in his shadow, and stood. I only stared into his dead eyes, not saying a word, waiting for him to speak.

"Hi," he said. His voice was so quiet and weak, it took me a few seconds to realize he actually _had_ spoken.

"Jake…" I whispered, hesitating. There was so much I wanted to tell him, I wasn't quite sure what order to tell him in. Suddenly, my desire to see him suffer had vanished. Or maybe transformed.

"I want you to know that—"

I bit my lip, swallowing the words I wanted to say. But would he believe them?

I looked into his face, as if the answer was somehow hidden in the wonderland of Jake's mustang eyes. I didn't find an answer. I only held them, wondering if this was the last time I'd ever look at them, and silently marvel at their wild beauty. What it-?  
I was crying. I hadn't realized, until the tears ran down my face and into my mouth. I tasted the saltiness.

"I love you," I said, before I could stop myself. The saltiness intensified. "I want you to know that, Jake. I love you and I never stopped loving you for an instant. Even when you brought me to tears."

"I didn't mean to, " he said.

"Didn't mean to what?" I sobbed.

"I don't know…I don't know!" He ran his stiff fingers though his hair, and threw them frustratingly down in a fit of rage. "Why do you have to be so damn frustrating?"

"_How_ am I frustrating?"

"Kissing Gabe? Lying to your father?"

"Gabe kissed me! Why don't you trust me?"

Jake threw his hands in the air, as if giving up on the girl that had disappointed him. "You know what? Do what you want. I'm done!" Sam didn't allow him one step before stopping him. "Whoa, whoa, whoa! I'm not done yet!"

"Well I am! I'm tired of dealing with you!"

I don't know why I did it. The need to make Jake suffer returned, and was now fiercer than ever. But was I did was unforgivable…and something I'd regret.

**Jake's point of view(POV)**

She kissed Gabe.

**Sam's POV**

I kissed Gabe.

**Jake's POV**

Her lips moving against his made me sick to my stomach, and I had to turn away.

**Sam's POV**

My lips moving against his was disgustingly tasteless. It made me sick to my stomach, but I didn't stop, to prove some stupid point to Jake I was unsure of at this moment.

**Jake's POV**

I walked away. Shaking. Choking. Breathless. Sam didn't need to see me cry.

**Sam's POV**

I saw him cry. It was an accident.

**Jake's POV**

So much for a second chance. You blew it, Jake Ely. Stupid, stupid you.

**Sam's POV**

I don't remember ending the kiss, but I did. Next thing I knew, it was raining, and I was running. Running from my hell, and toward the rescue of my horse.

**Jake's POV**

Good bye, Sam.

**Sam's POV**

I'm sorry, Jake.


	13. Discontined

**All right, **

**So…**

**I Haven't been getting many reviews for this story lately**

**I'm thinking of not continuing it! **

**Unless you guys convince me otherwise.**

**I need at least 7 reviews telling me to continue, otherwise this story is over!**

**So let me know if you want it continued!**


	14. Bits and Pieces

**Hope this chapter isn't too short. **

**I just wanted to establish the mood before I get to the action in the next chapter. **

**This chapter has a snippet of each of the characters thoughts.**

**Hope you enjoy!**

**P.S. Thanks for all of the ppl who reviewed and convinced me to finish this story! :)**

**Special thanks to xoabbyyox35, for being my reviewer # 7, and finalizing my decision!**

**Sam's POV**

Love is fragile.

So fragile, in fact, that even a small pebble, airborne from a car tire, can shatter its glass into a thousand, million pieces. But the thing about shattered glass, is it can't be pieced back together. Love, on very rare occasions, can be mended. And the scars from the past only make it stronger.

Not this time, though.

Jake and I, were like shattered glass. In a thousand, million pieces, and never to be mended. Ever.

**Jake's POV**

Getting in my truck was a blur.

Driving was a blur.

Getting out of my truck was a blur.

Going up to my room, and shutting my door was a blur.

What I remember so clearly, though, was her eyes. I still saw them as I closed mine and sat down on my bed, covering my face in my hands. I saw them, so different from the rest of her face. They were blue. Ivory blue. And love so unfathomable and true, telling me that she'd always love me, no matter how much I'd hurt her.

But the rest of her face told me otherwise.

The rest of her face told me she hated me.

The way she kissed Gabe told me she hated me.

Face it, Jake. She hates you. And it's all your fault.

After one year of being apart.

Three years of being together.

And a lifetime of being in love with her, I cried.

I cried, with the engagement ring twirling in my fingertips.

**Gram's POV**

After calling the police, I sat down at the kitchen table, clutching a rosary.

_God, have mercy on my granddaughter_, I prayed over and over again.

**Dad's POV**

The party disintegrated, one guest at a time, until there were none.

"Damn!" I swore under my breath, wondering how everything could have gone so wrong.

**Gabe's POV**

Jake was going to break my face.

I tasted Sam on my lips, as I began to walk home in the steadily-falling rain.

**Slocum's POV**

I let out a breath, feeling satisfied and completely relaxed for once in my life.

Less than an hour to go…


	15. I Promise

**Hey, readers**

**I just wanted to say SORRY for such the wait on this story…**

**I'm working on the next chapter, but it's not coming along so easily.**

**My life has been unbelievably busy!**

**You guys have been incredibly patient, and I THANK YOU so much for that…:)**

**I promise you I will have it up by this Sunday, April 24, 2011 by 2:00 pm, with no exceptions!**

**Pssst…more reviews will make me write faster :)**

**I'm serious, guys. You have no idea how much reviews fire me up and give me inspiration and motivation to write.**

**Reviews = faster and better chapters!**


	16. Second Guessing

**I'm sorry for the forced writing, and the really short chapter again! Atleast I added some action this time! Yah! :) Anyway, I'm sorry I haven't been updating much, I'm just not feeling the story like I used to and it's really hard to write it. I will still finish it for you guys though. Well, enjoy! And God bless!**

**Sam's POV**

I swear to God, I could hear him scream. I was still minutes away from reaching the Secret Valley, even at a fast jog, but I heard him.

His agonizing pain, mixed with fear of what would happen to him; tore through the hiss of the rain. The eerie sound, much like a ghost, would probably be enough to make anyone terrified.

Not me. What that sound did to me, was break my heart. I wasn't positive it was him, and maybe it was just my sleep-deprived mind getting the better of me. But whatever the sound, it reminded me of how desperately I wanted to get to the valley, and make his pain go away. It reminded me that through the stabs of pain in my chest from exhaustion, I kept on running as hard as I could. Because I knew my horse's pain was greater.

Then I thought of Jake. I thought of my lips against Gabe's and how much I wanted them to be Jake's. I wanted to remember what they tasted like, because I knew they were amazing.

I hurt him.

I broke his heart.

I choose a horse over him.

I stopped running. Right there, on the side of the road, I stood. Halfway between Jake's house and the Secret Valley. Faced with the decision for the last time. Overwhelmed with the responsibility of my choice.

I stared ahead: past the rain and the trees and the sticky air; past the confusion and fears and life back home. Saving the Phantom was the right thing to do, and I knew it. But why was there such a pain ripping me up every time I thought of it?

Cause Jake was everything to me.

Everything.

I looked back, imagining his house, miles behind me. He'd be in there at this very moment. Arms empty, where I was supposed to be. I sighed; tear carving a track down my dirt-covered cheek. I longed to be in his arms right now.

A dull screeching of truck brakes came from behind me, but I didn't turn to the sound. Maybe if I stood still enough, I'd melt into the scenery and become invisible.

No such luck. I heard a car door slam shut behind her, and boots grind at the wet gravel as someone walked closer.

"Well, now, if it ain't the Little Lady," Slocum jeered from behind her. "Middle of a lightning storm, and you're walking on the side of the road like nothing…"

Sam turned to face him, feeling a lack of energy for arguing with anyone right now; especially Linc Slocum of all people. "Mr. Slocum, please, she said, trying her hardest to be polite. "I have something I need to do…"

Sam began walking on her way, toward the Secret Valley, but Slocum stepped casually into her path, flashing her a pearly-white grimace. "Where do ya think you're going, Little Lady?"

The fact that Slocum was referring to her as a "Little Lady" still after four years didn't bother me much. It wasn't even because when he showed his teeth, it was as though he thought he could look even better since it was raining. Precious time I was wasting, standing here and being blocked by him.

"Mr. Slocum," Sam said politely through clenched teeth. "Please, this is an emergency…" she explained, pushing past him without thinking.

Sam heard a gun click behind her, and I stopped walking. Shoot, that idiot had a gun?

"If you're gonna try and save that horse of yours, it too late. He's already dead."

I froze, staring ahead into the falling rain until everything in my vision blurred and washed together, like wet paint running down a canvas. Suddenly, the ground felt like it was rising up at me, and I felt so weak, I wanted to sink to my knees.

I turned just as thunder softly rumbled the ground. "Why should I believe you?" I asked him, hoping with everything he was lying to me.

Slocum brought the gun up slowly to the middle of his chest, pointed directly at me. "Get in the truck, Samantha," he hissed. "Now."

I swallowed my fear, and lashed back at him. "What did you do to him?" I screeched, taking long, determined strides back to where he stood. "You—you did this to him, didn't you?"

"I said get in the damn truck!" His finger shook at the trigger, as if he was ready to pull it on me any second.

My lip quivered, and my face felt heavy and full, struggling to keep from crying. I was so scared and so alone. The wind whipped rain sideways against my body, and I closed my eyes against it. This wasn't happening. Nothing could go this wrong in just days. Not even Samantha Forester's life.

I stood there, shuddering and finally giving up and letting myself let go and just cry. "No!" I screamed, failing my arms, and pushing against Slocum, hating him so deeply, I felt it filling my chest. "No! No! You can't take him from me!"

"Shut up!" he yelled, his anger ringing in my ears, and an ache rising through my whole body. It's like I didn't care anymore. I let the rain penetrate my warmth, and let the loss rip through all of my emotion. I let Slocum cover that cloth that reeked of chloroform over my nose and mouth, and let the darkness close over me.

I didn't care what happened to me.

Because this night, I had already died.


	17. The Smell

**Author's POV**

It was night, she remembered. It was night.

Or was it?

Sam looked up; rain and black sky swirling around her in a whirlpool. Maybe it was morning. Or even the middle of the day, and it was just dark because of the storm.

A numb ache swelled inside her nose, made its way to the back of her head, and crawled down her throat. She groaned, pressing her palm against her forehead. She couldn't remember. She couldn't remember anything.

So she just convinced herself it was night.

She needed something, even a small something, to believe was true. Even if it wasn't.

The ground shook, groaning as it smacked against every pothole, and dropping once again into the rhythm of the gravel road.

She was in a truck.

But not buckled securely into a backseat, staring out the window and completely safe. Rather, Sam was completely unsafe.

She laid, belly up in a moving truck bed, jolting with the bumping movement of the tires against the road. She was being kidnapped.

Sam sat up, watching the ground move below, and felt suddenly nauseous.

The air smelled of death.

The parched Nevada desert aroma was quenched by the rain storm, and bitter from the stench of flesh. It wasn't that usual smell of a dead body, with the weird rotten smell that no one can stand to be around. It was more novel and mysterious, as if it didn't belong.

Desert flowers and sage brush were extinguished with the rain. Death was the new smell that swelled with the wind. Except, unlike the wind, it didn't leave. The smell sat there, hovering in the humid air, and sticking as it pressed down like a haunting, heavy dome.

An awful thought crossed Sam's mind. An awful, private thought she would never share, but she could carry out. In fact, it could be done right now…

She didn't have time. All she remembered was a terribly violent jolt, and then a scream, her own scream, though. Coming from her own throat. Something was wrong. Terribly wrong.

A hot, shrieking piece of metal drove into her chest, until it was too heavy to support. Something crushed her, pinning her to the cold, wet ground.

Someone, who smelled like memories long forgotten, pulled my head onto their lap, yelling my name over and over until I was sick of it. But I didn't want them to stop. It reminded me I was still alive, though I knew the aroma of death was about to fill the air a little more.


	18. A Long Time

**Sam's POV**

"Sam…" a voice called, fading in and out.

I kept loosing consciousness, even though I fought it. I fought the pain that was as intense as fire.

I fought the nightmares that materialized in the darkness behind my eyelids.

I fought reality, because that was the one thing that was worse than the pain and the nightmares put together.

"Sam…please. Stay awake. Stay with me. They'll be here soon. Just stay awake."

My lips opened so slowly, cause they were numb. I knew who spoke to me. I knew that familiar smell. I knew him by heart. "I'm s-sor-r—_rey_," I said, tears running down my face in the painful effort to speak.

"Shhh…stop, Sam. You're hurt. Don't talk.

"Wha-at h-ha-pened?" I shivered.

"You were in a car accident."

"How b-bad am I h-h-hurt?"

"Sam…"

"No. Answer me. Please?"

He sighed, and didn't say anything for a long time. Then finally, "Bad. Really bad."

I closed my eyes, and felt the pain grow worse, wondering how bad "bad" meant.

"Don't close your eyes, Sam. Please. Stay awake."

I opened them, and saw his face force a smile down at me. His large, cold hands enveloped my head, cooling my throbbing head, and comforting me. Just a little. Everything was wrong. So, so wrong.

"Jake?"

"Shhh…" his hands pressed into my forehead a little firmer, and he began to rug my temples very gently.

"Jake," I said stubbornly. "Is it true? Is the Phantom, gone?"  
"Oh my God, Sam," he said. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault," I whispered, tears rolling down my cheeks.

"If only I hadn't made such a big deal about you going, he might be fine right now."

"Jake, you couldn't have prevented it. It's fine. What happened happened," I whimpered as I forced these words. He couldn't be dead…he couldn't be dead…

"Sam?"

I looked up at him.

"I love you."

"Stop."

"Stop what?"

"Just stop," I said, a fresh tear trickling down my face. I couldn't take it. I don't know why I couldn't stand to hear him say it, but I just couldn't.

We just were there together.

I don't know how long.

But a long time.

**5 reviews = One short chapter**

**10 reviews = two short chapters**

**15 reviews = one long chapter**

**20 reviews = one long chapter and a short chapter**

**25 reviews = two long chapters**

**30 reviews = two SUPER long chapters**

**:) :) :) :) It's up to you guys! Please review, even if it's really short or you have nothing to say. Just say something, and I'll have a better update! **


	19. Thank You

**I don't mind to be sappy or anything, I just have to tell you guys something…**

**YOU ARE ALL FRICKEN AMAZING!**

**I got 20 reviews on the last chapter alone, which is way over what I expected to get.**

**I have been working my butt off lately with all the end of the year crap teachers throw at us at the end of the year, and I've been doing track, and I was sick for a few days, and blah, blah, blah, the list goes on and on. **

**But you guys have been there through it all.  
Some of you have NO idea how much your reviews can mean to me. **

**You guys are the reason I write. Even when I'm insanely busy. **

**So sit tight for the next chapters of Dear Sam. They will be long, I owe that much to you. **

**I also want to apologize. **

**For the lame last few chapters. **

**I'm so sorry, I've like lost all heart for this story and I just can't get into it like I used to. The only reason I write this story is for you guys. **

**So thanks!**

**Sorry if you haven't enjoyed it as much lately!**


	20. The Kiss

**Sam's POV**

In the dream, I was running.

Running so fast, even the wind had yet to catch me. And my horse, The Phantom, ran alongside; pounding the same rhythm into the Nevada soil as I did with only two feet.

Rain and thunder hummed across the sky, singing in chorus as girl and horse ran. Just ran. Becoming part of the fat, black clouds that hung overhead. Becoming one with the wind and the sweet scent of sage brush. Becoming the wild itself.

The Phantom whipped his head at me playfully, scattering my vision with silvery horsehair. I reached out, laughing; taking a handful of mane into my grip, and holding it.

Suddenly, the Phantom wasn't riderless. A silhouette of a man with sharp spurs and a toothpaste-commercial smile rode the mighty. "Let go, Samantha," the rider jeered, floating effortlessly on the horse's back. "He won't be yours forever."

Even after the rider spoke, Sam still heard the words that he'd spoken, echoing around her. I opened my mouth to respond, but this was one of those mute dreams. No matter how much I screamed, or how many words I wanted to say, they wouldn't come out.

The rider drew a knife from his pocket, and without warning, hacked a leg off the Phantom with one effortless swipe. As if he were just an old piece of fur nature.

I shivered, the air suddenly icy cold. My stomach dropped to my feet as I watched my horse dip slowly to the ground, limb after limb flying out from under him.

**Jake's POV**

"Sam, wake up," I whispered. "You're having a nightmare."

Her head rolled back and forth across my lap, her lips vibrated with cold, mumbling something untranslatable and entirely of her own. But she still wouldn't wake.

I wished I could take it all back; the words, the stupid letters, the heartbreak. I wished the world didn't feel so cold and cruel, and it wasn't my fault it felt that way. But it _was_ my fault. All of it. And because of me, Sam was dying in my arms.

"Jake," a voice said. I knew the speaker, I really did, but I was too week—both mentally and bodily—to register who's it was. "You should go home. It's after midnight."

"I won't leave her."

"Jake," the voice said again, almost pleadingly. "She's going to be fine. Really. You can go home and sleep, and be here for her in the morning."

"No." I said the word with defiance in my tone. My mind was made up, and if they wanted me away from her, they'd have to drag me.

"Don't make me leave her," I said again, more firmly this time. "I can't."

I cradled her body into my arms, and held her so close to me, her lips shivered against my chest. "Jake," she called, raindrops crawling into her mouth as she said my name.

"I'm here."

"Jake, Jake…" she mumbled. Her lips were blue, and shriveled and vibrated even more violently, along with her whole face.

Gently I dragged my stiff fingers across her cheek, placed her wet hair behind her ear, and leaned forward to whisper, "It's okay, Brat. I'm right here, and I'll be here all night until you wake up."

For a few moments, Sam seemed completely calm, and the whole atmosphere was tranquil. She breathed slowly against my face, the rain pattered softly on the brim of my Stetson, and my lips lapped soothingly at her ear.

It was perfect. Or, at least, as perfect as a dramatic scene could be.

Until her lips began to vibrate with fear again, and again and again she'd udder my name. "Jake…Jake! Jake!" she chirped, clutching my shirt. She grabbed fistfuls at a time, kneed her knuckles into my chest, and release her grip, only to grab another fistful of shirt somewhere else.

"Jake! Jake! Help me!_ Help! _Please!" she shrieked, panicking. She was absolutely terrified. I could see it in her face.

"Sam! Sam!" I yelled firmly over her fists that were clutching at my shirt, and tried to hold them still. "You're okay! You're safe! Open your eyes and look."

"No! No I'm no!" she continued to scream. "He's—he's coming! Jake, he—he's coming for me!"

"Who's coming?"

"A man. Jake, it's a man! Please, make him go away."

"Just open your eyes, Brat."

"No! I have to get away!" she pushed against me, struggling to stand up.

"No, Sam," I told her calmly, my lips still at her ear. I held her down, trapping her flailing arms against my chest. "Don't move, Baby. You're okay. You're sate."

She finally broke away from my arm prison, and started to run into nowhere in total darkness, with her eyes squeezed shut, screaming.

"Sam!" I yelled after her. I ran for her, but my legs were numb and tingly after she'd had all her weight across my lap. My Stetson fell from my head as I awkwardly limped toward the driveway. "Sam! Stop!" I hollered.

"Get away!" she screamed at nobody. "Leave me alone!"

"Samantha!" I caught her around the waist, and pulled her into me. "Stop! Please! You're scaring the hell out of all of us!"

The rest of her family, and the police officers stood nearby, wide-eyed and staring curiously at us both.

I looked away from them, blinking against the rain; looking into Sam's vacant eyes and shivering as cold rain slid down the back of my shirt.

We stood there, in the icy drizzle, holding each other; not sure what to do next.

"Jake," she whispered finally, still staring at me with that vacant look. "Please, don't leave me."

I opened my mouth to respond, but before I could, she slapped her hands to my face, and leaned in, using her lips to close my mouth, then reopen it.

She playfully nibbled and chewed and moved her lips so hard against mine, I had to return the same forceful kiss back, just to keep from falling backwards.

Then she pulled back, swayed a little, then collapsed forward. I had to catch her so she wouldn't hit the ground, and stared down at the limp body, confused as ever.


	21. 500, Dead or Alive

"Jake, she'll be fine. Get up," the same voice from before said to me.

"No," I shook my head, fighting off the images that wouldn't leave my head. I didn't, I mean _couldn't_ remember how she kissed me. I couldn't remember how blue her eyes were when they shined with life. All I saw, over and over and over again, was the truck falling one her; pinning her against rock and soil. Pinning her to a fate she was too young for.

"She's dead."

I choked on the words as they came out, because I didn't mean to say them. Coming from me, they sounded cold; real; final. I felt a stone sink down my throat and fall to the very bottom of my stomach, and sit there; waiting to be thrown up.

"She's dead," I said again, this time sounding more like a sob. I wiped my hand forcefully across my face to dry the tears, and sniffed loudly. Finally, though I was so week, I turned my head to look up into the face of the man standing above me.

"She's dead!" I yelled as loud as I could. "Isn't she?"

Wyatt looked like he hadn't slept in days, as he stared down at me, appearing lost.

"Isn't she?" I screamed as loud as I could again. When Wyatt didn't answer for the second time, I placed

Sam gently on the ground, jumped to my feet, and flew in his face.

"She's bleeding, Wyatt!"

"I think I know how to tell when my own daughter is—" he broke off, before I even had time to interrupt him.

"Dead?" I suggested. "Diseased? Passed away?"

"Don't you _dare_-!" he started, pulling his fist back to his ear, getting ready to punch me.

"Don't I dare, what? Be honest? You don't think I've lost anything at her death?"

"She's my daughter!"

"She's my fiancée!"

The words had already slipped before I had a chance to correct them. That was a lie. I hadn't even officially proposed to her yet.

"Fiancé?" Wyatt spat, like it was a dirty word if spoken by me.

"Well, not quite…ugh! I don't have time for this!" I said suddenly. "I need to find—" I stopped, considering if it was a good idea to tell Wyatt what I was up to.

"I need to find…Linc. Linc Slocum?"

"Why?" he asked, eying me curiously.

"Because…he was the one who did this to her!"

"Jake," he said calmly, shaking his head. "That's not a good idea. Besides, dozens of policemen are already out looking for him."

"But…I think I know where to find him."

"No. Don't."

"As if it's your choice?"

He pushed my shoulder with his palm. "I'm trying to protect you, Jake!" He was so angry, he was gritting his teeth as he yelled at me. "You're out of your damn mind! Sam is not dead! I won't let you go on some suicide mission after Linc, where you'll probably end up hurt or dead."

I stepped closer to him, so I was in his face as I said, "JUST TRY AND STOP ME!"

"Jake!" he screamed, as I ran for my truck. "JAKE!"

"SHUT-UP!" I screamed back, shaking with anger. I stared at him with so much hatred as I opened my truck door. Then I climbed in, started the car, and sped off, just missing Wyatt by a few inches. Damn, I wished I had had the courage to run him over.

**Okay….so here's the thing. There's only one chapter left, and it's so long and so epic…you guys NEED to read it! So I need you guys to REVIEW if you want it to come sooner!**

**5 reviews = posted in 6 weeks from today…**

**10 reviews = posted in 5 weeks from today**

**15 reviews = posted in exactly a month**

**20 reviews = posted in three weeks from today**

**25 reviews = posted in only TWO weeks from today**

**So… REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW and I will POST POST POST :) :) :) **


	22. Pains

**Guys…u have no idea how sorry I am. **

**I know I was supposed 2 update by 2 Sundays ago…but I couldn't. My power went out, and since then I have been so insanely busy I haven't had time to do anything. Seriously, u guys were amazing reviewers and I let u down. Life is being a pain in the ass right now. **

**I will update as soon as I can. **

**Love you guys :D**


	23. Say Goodbye

**Sam's POV**

My first breath I was aware of was shallow and stale. My second breath hurt so much, I had to cough to _inhale_ the necessary oxygen.

The world behind my eyelids was dark. Dark, and airless. I couldn't breathe, and I couldn't see. I was completely and totally vulnerable.

I felt like a horse without its legs. Lying in a wide-open prairie without anything to protect itself. There could've been a giant billboard erected behind me, saying 'Calling all wild animals with sharp teeth or claws, men with guns, or anything that could potentially cause me harm! Almost-dead girl right here for you!'

The air reeked of blood. My own, mixed with someone, or_ something_ else's. It had stopped raining, but the blood still held that more-watery-than-normal smell.

_Who's blood was it? _I wanted to know.

I wanted to move, but I couldn't. Even breathing hurt me. I had a rational fear of every breath I took, because every one of them elicited the memory of the crash; Linc's truck drilling me helplessly into the ground, my ribs groaning, my flesh ripping as easily as paper. With every breath I took, I could feel each bone in my rib cage stab into my swelling lungs.

I didn't want to move, I decided now. I wanted to die. The pain was too much. The memories were too much. It was all too much.

So I would lie here. Wishing for the impossible. Forgetting the things I wanted to forget. Letting myself lose my mind, and glad of the vacancy that used to be haunted with memories. Now it was nothing.

I liked nothing.

**Jake's POV**

I clutched the gun in my fist behind my back.

Before I entered the valley, I stood at the mouth of the entrance, hiding behind a large rock; my back pressed up against the tunnel wall. I could see him. Slocum. I could see his silhouette walking in the distance, pacing the scene of the crime like some Death hungry Psycho. God, he made me sick.

What I saw next was the body of the Phantom, lying on the ground a few yards from Slocum.

Dead.

The first thing that crossed my mind when I left the tunnel was her.

Sam.

How beautiful she was.

For some reason, that made leaving my hiding spot that much easier, and getting revenge on Slocum seem like a sudden difficult task that became something I could do in my sleep. To me, right now, Slocum was like a wounded deer, and I was the wild animal who was two seconds away from ripping his guts out.

I stalked from the tunnel at a very fast walk, clicked the gun, and held it up in position with Slocum's head as the target. I had opened my mouth to yell his foul name, so he could turn and see my face before I shot him dead. But instead of words, it was mud that filled my mouth. I was on the ground, and someone was on top of me; pinning me in place with a hand over my mouth.

"Gahbuh?" I yelled against the hand that covered lips. I struggled to push him off me, but he was stronger. His knees hugged my torso, squeezing my arms to my sides with such a force, I thought that both of them would break. "Gauht off meah!" I screamed through Gabe's hand.

"Shut-up!" Gabe warned, leaning closer. "Are you crazy? We don't want him to know we're here! Are you gonna talk quietly if I take my hand off your mouth?"

I nodded angrily, and he took his hand away. "What the hell—"

"Shhhh!" Gabe whispered loudly, threatening to put his hand back over my mouth. "I told you to be quiet!" But it didn't seem like he cared about that right now, because he began to laugh histerically. "What were gonna do, huh Ely? Blow off Slocum's head? Think you're manly now that you can murder someone who gets on your nerves?"

"YOU BASTARD! HE KILLED THE PHANTOM! HE KIDNAPPED SAM, AND LEFT HER FOR DEAD!"  
He laughed again, but this time it was more cruelly. "Sam? Why do you care so much about her? She doesn't love you anymore, Jake. Why would she? She's moved on to me—"

My fist swung up to clobber Gabe's nose so fast, I barely recognized it as my own punch. His blood flew in all directions, spattering on my shirt a little too. Gabe howled, holding his nose as he fell sideways onto the ground. I got up, picked him up by his coat, and slammed him against the wall. "We'll just see which one she likes better when your face is rearranged so much that your barely recognizable as human—"

"Shhhh! Shut-up!" Gabe hissed.

All was dead silent.

"Are you going to try that again, or are you done trying to buy time before I beat you up?"

"Jake, I'm serious. Someone's coming." Gabe reached up, wiping his bloody nose with the back of his hand, and listened. Footsteps pulsed in the distance, steadily growing nearer.

I released him from my hold, and let him stand on the ground against the wall. That's exactly where I stood too. Someone was defiantly outside.

"Who's there?" Slocum's voice came from the valley.

"It's Slocum," Gabe hissed in my ear. "He must have heard you yelling."

My veins pulsed harder, anger building in my chest, but I didn't say anything to contradict him. I was so mad at him, I couldn't speak. I just waited as Slocum came closer to the tunnel we were hiding in, holding my breath.

"You'd better come out, whoever you are, or I'll shoot," Slocum was saying.

"Not if I shoot you first," I muttered to myself, my finger resting on the trigger inside my coat pocket.

_Hello?_ a static-y voice spoke on my hip. My heart stopped. My walki-Talki was on. I was an idiot. Slocum would hear us for sure now. I shut my eyes, trying to block out her voice; trying to decide what to do with it. Should I pick it up?

No, then Slocum would hear my voice.

Should I just let it go, and let her keep talking.

Bad idea still. Slocum would hear her, and come after us anyway.

Turn the volume down. Duh.

I fumbled for the volume dial, and just as I was about to turn it lower, Sam's voice spoke again.

_Jake! Jake? Where are you? I need you—I mean, I need to talk to you._

My hand hesitated on the dial. I could hear the sob in her voice. She was terrified, and she was hurt. I closed my eyes again, hating myself. I was so selfish, leaving Sam alone so I could go after Slocum.

"What are you _doing_, Jake?" Gabe hissed. "Turn it off, already!"

_Jake,_ Sam said again, crying so hard she could barely talk. _Jake, please! I'm in the secret valley—_

This time, I picked up the walkie-talkie, so fast Slocum could probably hear the thing rushing through the air to my mouth.

"Sam!" I yelled into the walkie. I didn't care if Slocum heard me. I had a gun anyhow. "Sam! Why the hell are you here?"

_Here? _She repeated. _You mean you're in the Secret Valley, too?_

"Yeah, but…Sam, you're hurt! You should be at home—"

"So should you!" Slocum boomed. He'd found us, I'd just realized, looking at him in alarm.

He knocked the walkie-talkie out of my hand and it clattered onto the tunnel floor, Sam's voice still erupting from the speaker. _Jake! Are you okay? What's going on?_ She shrieked.

"Say goodbye to your little girlfriend, Jake," Slocum told me, half laughing.

I closed my eyes. I know I had a gun too, but I was shaking so hard that I couldn't move.

I heard a shot go off, but I didn't feel anything sink into my flesh. When I opened my eyes, Slocum was on the ground, clutching his side, groaning in pain, and Sam was standing at the exist to the tunnel, pointing the gun that had been fired.

"Sam!" I screamed, my voice trembling. She didn't look at me. Her eyes were swollen and red from crying, and blood was smeared all over her from the accident. "Are you okay?"

She dropped the gun, lifelessly, and didn't move. "I'm…sorry…" she shivered.

"No,no, no," I told her, striding over and cupping her face in my hands. "_I'm _sorry. I should have been the one to kill Slocum, not you. I should have listened to you when you said the Phantom was in danger and helped you instead of breaking up with you…I'm so sorry, Sam."

"Jake?"

"What?"

"You do know Gabe is standing right there?"

I turned my head to look at a furious Gabe, and couldn't help smiling. "Yeah, I know." I turned back to Sam, my head closer this time. "I guess he'll just have to watch when I do this…"

I kissed her. Warmly, deeply, passionately. And when we were finally done, I pulled that stupid ring out of my pocket and proposed.

And Sam said yes.

Oh yeah. And Gabe saw the whole thing.

Haha. Sucker!

**Yeah, sorry about the weird ending. I wasn't really sure what to do with that. OKAy, so I guess that was the last chapter so tell me what you thought of the ending, the whole story, and/or my writing in general. Thanks for reading, you guys are the best!**

**Oh, and thanks for being so patient! I know I was supposed to up date this like, six months ago…so yeah. Thanks so much :)**


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